GREETING THE ANCESTORS

My last surviving grandparent passed away around Easter this year, passing into the great hall of my ancestors. She’d lived with us for the best part of a decade, and had been a great fountain of wisdom, told crazy stories and instructed us in our local language (Rukiga)… During the last two or so years, her hearing begun to fail and she had constant pain in her back, stomach and legs. About two months before she died, she had a heart attack, and spent a few weeks in hospital, part of that time unconscious and on life support. When she came back home, she couldn’t walk very far anymore, and she was in more pain than ever. I tried to convince my dad to give her more pain killers since it was clear addiction was the least of her problems, but he wouldn’t hear of it, perhaps because he didn’t want to face the fact that she was really dying this time.

Anyway, she lived in the guest wing of my parents’ house, and since it has been standing empty these last months, I decided to move in this past weekend. It suits me very well because it is away from the main house and affords me some space and privacy (which I have come to realise more and more is totally necessary to life for me)

On the first night, I decided to carry out a private moving in ceremony – partly because of some stuff I read in a book that said one needed to claim and bless a space before one moved into it, and partly because my little sister accused me of showing off by moving into Grandma’s room when everyone knew it was haunted. :-) Silly girl! Anyway, I sat on the edge of my bed and prepared to begin. I wondered if I should say the words out loud or not, and decided on the latter (I’d feel too silly otherwise – although I later wished I had said them out loud – more effectual that way!)

I started off by greeting my Grandmother, and hoping she was comfortable where she was etc. – I started off doing this in Rukiga, but after a few moments casting about endlessly for suitable translations for words that appeared in my head in English, I figured that being dead, maybe she was beyond language barriers, and proceeded in English. I told her we were all well, and that I was looking forward to moving into her room. After this I started, with her permission, to claim the room. That it would be a room where I would rest well, be creative and be peaceful; thinking back to her state of mind towards her death, I begun to chase away fear and invite love, to chase away loneliness and invite companionship, to chase away confusion and invite clarity, to chase away ill health and invite well being, to chase away inability and invite ability, agility and strength. There after I invited all her positive qualities to stay: her strength of character, her excellent memory, her big heart, her innocence.

After that small ceremony, I have to say I slept very well, and have slept very well ever since! I really feel myself expanding and filling the space completely.