You have a brother??

I recently mentioned, in casual conversation with a close friend of mine, that my brother was born 11 months after I was born.
His reaction? Disbelief: "You have a brother??"
I smiled, waiting for the punch line: from the moment we met more than 5 years ago, the Godfather has spent nearly all of our time together teasing me. We, his friends, call him the Godfather because he is usually off doing God knows what, not responding to e-mail or text; plus, he is Italian and fancies himself very wise! In reality he is is extremely naive, more than me even, and that is saying A LOT; nevertheless, very generous, and a really smart guy so a great pleasure to hang out with.
"Yeah, why not?" I reply, "I'm afraid there is someone very much like me hanging about somewhere in the world."
"No, seriously, you really have never mentioned a brother! In fact, not long ago I was reflecting on what it was like for you to be an only child!"
"An only child??" I asked, equally incredulous now.
"Yes!" he replied, "Oh, wait, what's wrong with me? Of course: you have a sister! How could I have forgotten that?"
(And two nephews thank you!)
"Why would you think I was an only child?" I asked, puzzled.
"Well, because you are so self-centred, and spoiled!" he smiled, back to his teasing.
"But seriously, tell me more about him!" he prompted after a while; and so I did.
My brother and I, as far as I can remember, were quite close growing up. Being the only boy, of course, meant that he was a little spoiled, but luckily I was perfectly secure in my first born status and didn't mind too much.

"I cannot believe that I really have never mentioned him" I said to the Godfather, "But thinking about it now, we do seem to have really drifted apart in the last few years. I think it all started when he moved out of home for the first time, at quite an early age too."

"When was this?"

When was it indeed? I could not remember! I thought for a minute.

"Well, he wasn't that young probably, maybe 25? I think I did not live at home during that period either so I cannot recall exactly," I said.

"And why would you have lost touch - didn't he visit?"

"Yeeeah, I guess, though I don't remember him visiting that much; nobody really even knew where he lived exactly!"

"What? How?!? Not even his Mother"

(Did I mention that my friend was Italian?)

"Sure!" I said, "It is quite normal for people not to know where a boy lives - it is part of letting him start his own life I guess. Of course we knew the general area but I don't recall actually going there until he had been living there for some years!"

"So what's he like then, your brother?"

"Oh, really brilliant, I have to say. And sooo funny, even funnier than me, if you can imagine that" I teased

"Oooh, believe me, that is too easy," he teased back.

"Yeah, anyway; he is also really social: he has A LOT of friends!"

"Hm. that's just like my own brother" my friend returned; but you know, having so many friends and being so funny does not always mean some one is happy, or well really" he added somberly.

"Hmmm," I mused.

"My brother is also really brilliant, and very very funny. In fact, even though he is generally a reserved person, when there is a big group of people he can really make entertain you!! Yeah... he almost becomes a clown!" he finished quietly.

"Really..." I smiled. "Hey, did you know, by the way, that very humorous people are also highly intelligent? Someone told me this recently..."

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

"Was it you?" I continued.

"No, but it is quite obvious" he remarked dryly.

"You know you are one of the least humorous people that I know actually..." I begun.

"Yeah, yeah, Vive," he countered, "But I am funnier than you so you really don't want to go there" he countered with a smile

"Whatever" I smiled back. "Well anyway, thinking about it now, I wonder why we drifted a part like this. For sure he has not been very well for some years now, your observation about having so many friends not necessarily meaning that he is happy is quite accurate."

"Hmm." he agreed. "My brother certainly was not doing well for a long time, I don't know what happens to these brilliant people but at one point, they seem to lose it. Sometime after he turned 21 he simply couldn't be bothered to do anything with himself, failed to finish his studies and basically..."

"Weird...This is more or less what happened to my brother"

Nodding his head he continued "In my brother's case, it was not until he met this girl that click, he got his act together. He will finally finish his degree next February. His friends have already been out of school and working for almost 10 years!"

"Oh my! But that is great. On the other hand, I think my brother's crisis was accelerated by a girl. They lived together for a while and he told me several times that he loved the girl to death but that the constant fighting was driving him crazy! No matter how careful he was not put a foot wrong there was always something. One day he just turned up at home and told us they had broken up!"

"Ah."

"Yeah. The way I remember it, he was so distraught that stayed at my parents' home for a few days to stabilise, and then I don't know how that story went but I think he never left again.

"Oh, and is he still there?"

"Yeap!" I replied.

My friend looked at me quizzically, "Really? Aaand how old is he?"

"34! No, 35, one year younger than me, remember?"

"NOOO!" he laughed, "Vive, 35?? What does he do?"

"He is self employed; ICT. He doesn't have a registered company or anything but he does get quite a lot of work. And from what his clients say, he does a very good job too."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad," the Godfather said.

"Yeeaah, well, there is only one problem" I added sceptically "His clients can only contact him by phone, and he is always losing it! I think it is part of his self-destructing behaviour"

The Godfather nodded thoughtfully "Self-destructive behaviour, yes. I recognise that."

I shook my head in wonder "Seriously, he has maybe lost 90 telephones, I don't know! Luckily, he gets quite well paid when he does finish a job so it keeps him for a while"

"Well paid, huh?" he said.

"Yeah, the guy make more for three days' work than I, I don't know, than I - "

"Than you make in a month?" he threw his head back and guffawed "In a YEAR? Heheehhehehe"

"Silly!" I said, kicking him under the table "No, seriously. The only problem is that as soon as he makes the money then he parties for days and days with his friends, and then suddenly has no money, and he has NO phone!!"

"Hehehehe, that's funny"

"I know. Well, not so funny but anyway, when he is on one of these drinking sprees my mother cannot sleep a wink, waiting for someone to ring her and tell her her son has been run over or been injured in a bar fight or something! As for my Dad, the whole thing frustrates him so much he doesn't know which way is up anymore. One day he is trying to be conciliatory and fatherly, the next he is pulling his beard off and screaming at my brother! Their only son and all that, it gets pretty crazy"

"Well, can't you guys say something? Help him?"

"Ah, I have to say that we have not been too successful. For my part, our communication has broken down so much that we always end up shouting at one another and storming off! It is really too bad because he has so much wasted potential"

"Yeah, I can imagine; with my brother, of course, none of us dared say anything so... It has to come from the person himself I think."

"Well, there you are. I personally do not know what to do, and I have kind of given up. My Dad and Mom try their best but sometimes I wonder if the best thing is not to just cut him lose and let him find his level, maybe something will happen that will bring him back to his senses. I don't know."

The Godfather was due to present a paper in Israel the following week, so I decided to change the subject and asked him if he was looking forward. When I got home later that day I thought back to our conversation, and the question still reverberated in my head:

"You have a brother?"