On Blind dates II

So at around 9pm he gets me home, and by now is exclaiming over what a good woman I am and how come I am not married yet, etc. I told him I saw myself settling down in maybe two years and he screeched 'WHAT??!?' - ati that is too long for him! Mbu we shall not enjoy our children’s youth (Imagine...) Anyway, all in all he keeps making reference to us married, walking down the aisle, spending a Saturday at home, etc., and finally caps it by saying he loves me!! Now really!! I asked him how he could say that on the day he met me (granted we spent 6 straight hours together but still!!) and he said that for men these things are instant!!

In short, the week I was away he called me everyday, ostentatiously to ask after me but really to tell me how he was - or so I noticed... I mean in one conversation he told me all about his malaria attack and feeling weak and having to endure needles etc., and then ended by saying ‘ok, bye, I was just checking on you’ - Am I being too picky?

And then there is the possessiveness – he says he would like us to get an apartment – he stays in hotels when he is town – that each of us would have our own key and that there would be no strings and that he would even pay the rent and give me money to furnish it (HA - no strings??)... Ati this is coz he doesn’t want to have to come for me at my parents where he can’t see me freely.. Another time I didn’t pick up his call because I was in a market and couldn’t talk and he immediately rang my cousin to ask why I didn’t pick his ‘calls’ and that she should send me airtime and ask me to call and on and on..

And then the day I got back (yesterday), after getting up so early and having to change planes etc., I felt really tired, but he insisted on seeing me and said he couldn’t sleep without seeing me – doesn’t this hint at a certain selfishness, I mean I told him I was really tired! And ofcourse he is too physical, hugging me a hundred times to say goodbye and he even tried to kiss me on the first date so I'm constantly having to tell him to step back - ok, I have thoroughly decampaigned this guy but banange - this is all true...

Anyway, I know the Surrendered Single says to go on at least three dates but I doubt I will last that long – the guy is just putting me under too much pressure – yesterday I had to remind him he only met me a week ago and that he should know that he is still only a possible candidate for my affections, meaning I was free to date anyone I pleased – this took him aback for a minute but he said of course I was entitled to my freedom and that he would respect that (as if!)

As I told my sister this morning, the man has officially become a stalker. I don’t know what to do – I am trying to stay surrendered and give the guy a chance but eh?

Speaking of being Surrendered - I saw a nice looking guy in the Dar airport yesterday but I thought to myself that it was too much to hope for that he would be in the seat next to me on the plane but lo and behold, there he was, in the seat next to me!! We talked for a while and he was quite interesting but since I may not control a man's pursuit, when we got to Nairobi and changed planes and seats, I decided to just keep giving him the ocassional smile but allow him to come over and say his piece if he felt like - which he didn't so - I can only imagine he thought two days in Kla and back to TZ didn't present enough prospects! Ah well..

Hold on: WAIT!!! Now that I think about it, the surrendered single says to ask guys to ask you out!! TSK!!! I remembered something about giving guys one's number but I sort of remembered that he had to ask for it - but NO!! Eeehh... Kale! Anyway, ok, I will learn a little at a time!! And such a nice Dutchman too!! (Or maybe me and Dutchmen are not destined to be..)

On Blind Dates

So, I have been on three so far, and after two of these the men were proposing marriage!! Does that mean men will start agreeing to meeting strange women only when they feel ready to settle down? Come to think of it, perhaps women normally go on blind dates looking for husbands – maybe the men think this... Whatever the case, this seems to be true two thirds of the time in my experience!

Is it men who are normally too shy to approach women? WHAT is it?

So anyway, last Friday, my cousin sets me up on a blind date – incidentally she is the author of all three dates – this last one to take place during lunch at the Grand Imperial hotel terrace.

He is a commercial farmer in Gulu, and also consults with various firms in Kampala in the area of marketing, thus splitting his time into 2 days in Kampala and the rest in Gulu each week.

On the day of the lunch it decides to rain cats and dogs so he offers to pick me up from the post office to cover the short distance to the Terrace, but on getting to the post office, he decided we go to Kembabazi’s instead – saying we were more likely to find better food there since it was already coming to 3pm.

The rain intensified upon reaching Kembabazi’s, so we stayed there most of the afternoon. Trying to apply Surrendered Single principles, I decided to really give him a chance though on first inspection he didn’t appear to be my type - for one thing he wasn’t terribly intellectual, and hasn’t seriously read a whole book in his life (those who know me are gasping at this point). On the other hand he spoke politics well enough, and spoke well on general matters, the economy, business, education, our foreign links, etc. Also, was good looking enough and was very well behaved, opening doors and all that sort of thing, and oh, taller than me (amen!)

I told him it was my birthday the following week and my sisters had tried to get me a pass to Jonathan Butler but that it had proved too expensive so he offered to buy me a ticket, which like any good surrendered single I received.. J There after he said we should move venue so that he could buy me a birthday drink seeing as I would be in TZ on the actual day, so we relocated to Dolphin suites (with a brief stop at Katch the Sun which we threw out as too cold) – that was also pleasant enough, we continued to talk about the lessons we’ve learnt in our long lives (he’s one year older than me) he told me he’d come very close to getting married 18 months ago, etc., etc.

(to be continued)

On growing older

I have to admit to a certain amount of superstition – somehow I feel that 33 will be my lucky year! I relate this to the day I opened a journal to document a certain high growth period in my life, and I remember starting it on the 3^rd of March 2003, a date that had numerologists all over the world salivating – I for one did not see anything out of the ordinary happen except the opening of my little journal..

Anyway, here we are at age 33! I feel that somehow I have gotten over whole idea of being in my mid thirties – I always thought one had to be really confident and successful to claim such an age, but on reflection, and based on recent events, I have to say I am at the top of my game (or I wish I were but ok, details!!) :-)

Speaking of recent events, just got back from a week of meetings in quality assurance of higher education in Dar es Salaam and Zanzibar and I have to say, they were the best I ever attended as far as conferences and workshops go!! At the moment I feel a little overwhelmed with the other pressures on my time after I got back to the office but I am determined to start delegating more!! At any rate, the time spent at these events increased my belief that I really have great potential, that there are a myriad of opportunities out there, and that I have a special ability to influence people because I naturally assumed positions of leadership and hobnobbed effortlessly with people of varied international expereince (including TWO former ministers - Senegal and Burundi, both of whom gave me their cards and asked me to get in touch - like seriously!)

In short, life continues to look up!