THE SECRET

Near the end of 2003 I read Stephen Covey’s ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’, and this sent me into this brooding that I mentioned in an earlier post. I am now nearing the end of 2007, and I have just come from watching ‘The Secret’. (An aside - I have read a lot of books, and watched a lot of movies and documentaries that have been pivotal in my life – such as the book ‘Meeting the Mad Woman’ which I quote all the time, and a few others I cannot recall just now, but I think books and movies are the principle way that I get to know stuff…)

So, ‘The Secret’ – it has definitely always been operating in my life, although purely by accident.. I always wondered why I seemed to have been born with the proverbial silver spoon in my mouth, why bad things never seemed to happen to me (or at least, why I never feared that they would happen), but I realise that it is because I always expected good – I mean just now I remember how I put myself in really dangerous positions (really innocently though), and to this day I have no idea how I survived!

What ‘The Secret’ says is that we create our reality. We create our health, our prosperity (or lack of it), our relationships, name it! It is summed up as the law of attraction, where we get what we attract into our lives (Now obviously this is not a new idea but I think I have never got it so clearly as I have today). A cousin of mine gave me a book some years ago (mainly because it did absolutely nothing for her) and there was a story about a little boy who was lying in bed one night and I can’t remember how it came to be but he got to talk to his personal genie or angel or whatever. So the Angel tells the little boy to ask for whatever he wants and that the Angel would grant it. The boy replies that he has no more faith because his prayers are never answered. The Angel says ‘But of course they are – give me one example of when they haven’t’

The little boy says ‘Well, I prayed and prayed that I wouldn’t be sent to Aunt what-her-name’s place (can’t remember the name) to spend the holidays and I wished and wished I wouldn’t be sent there but I still got sent there.

‘Well,’ the Angel said, ‘whatever you think about you get. You thought so much about your Aunt’s place that you ended up going there’

I remember this story really striking a cord with me. A room mate of mine once told me (she had studied psychology at one point in her life) that the mind cannot differentiate between ‘I want’ and I don’t want’ – as in if you say ‘I hope I don’t forget’ your mind will register ‘forget’ and you will indeed forget but if you say 'I hope I will remember’, your mind will actually prepare you to remember. So the Secret essentially says the same thing – you attract what you think about! The life one has is the life one has attracted to one self by what they spent time thinking about. A friend of mine has recovered from (quite serious) cancer recently ut she says the entire time she knew she would be fine, and wasn't afraid to die at all! I have to say that the secret wa sat work in her life too.

So the other day my Senga and I had a talk and she asked me to think about WHY I attract the men that I attract – i.e. the ones that I DON’T want! (or was it a friend of mine pointing this out?) After watching the secret, I see very clearly how come I am attracting these men –

1. I talk about the men I don’t want and their various nagging qualities ALL the time!
2. I hold the belief that this country is full of men I cannot relate to

So NO WONDER!!

Anyway, the bottom line is that The Secret says that one should think about what they WANT, and not only think about it, but also visualise it, and put themselves in a state of having already received it. For instance – if you want a certain car, visualise yourself sitting in it, feel the feelings you would have driving that car, and you will begin to attract the car.

One thing that I found crucial is that for one to think ABOUT what they want, they must first KNOW what they want. In my case, I think I know what I would like, but I am too ashamed to really admit these things. For instance, I would like to have nice shops around me, I would like to have fruit and vegetable shops around me that I could find any ingredient in to make the recipes that I have saved on my computer. HECK, I would like to travel the world!! The Secret encourages one to think about the eventual thing, not the means, so I realise that for instance, I have tended to think that I would like to have all these ingredients at my finger tips but I live in the wrong city, or I would like to travel the world but I don’t make enough money, and on, and on.. Over and over, I negate or contradict what I desire and no wonder it doesn’t come to pass.

Take travelling for instance – on the small income that I have, I do travel twice, thrice a year – so why do I look at my circumstances?? As for cooking, I have become a better and better cook (I would like to think), and enjoy what I cook – and I think this has come about ever since I stopped saying ‘I can’t cook!!’ The other day I was confidently going to prepare four or five new dishes to serve a t a brunch for my sister’s birthday!! (I'm still going to prepare these and make an eggless Christmas cake that will totally rock!)

Anyway, all in all, from now on, I am going to be bold about what I want (it’s what I want, who cares how petty or selfish or silly it is? More to the point, I will believe that it IS possible and IS sure to happen!!) I have heard about positive thinking a lot, and The Secret is kind of positive thinking, but while positive thinking by itself has never really struck a chord with me, The Secret has because it goes beyond positive thinking – it focuses on an end and sends a specific request out into the universe. Positive thinking to me was more wishy washy general positive thinking.

The book ‘Emotional Intelligence’ was another book that really spoke to me – and in the Secret it says that one can literally control their own emotions. For example: when I got up from watching The Secret, I felt my head pounding with a terrific headache, and I caught myself frowning and wondering why and concentrating on the headache and cursing it and all that, then I thought hey, let me concentrate on a clear head, so I begun to visualise my head clearing, calming down, etc. and almost immediately the headache begun to recede – this is something that I just done now, in the last 20 minutes! And I have no headache as we speak!

Last year, I visualised Belgium into being – of that I am 100% sure!! For weeks I thought of nothing else!! I really, really wanted to go!! And I did! Earlier today when I was in that meeting and hating it, or when I am grading papers and hating it, well, it must be an indication of how much I love myself if I can allow myself to do things I don’t enjoy. I mean I have to say that until earlier this year I really enjoyed my work, but for months now I have been feeling off kilter and as the secret says, as soon as you feel negative feelings - frustration, irritation, depression, anger, etc., then you are out of alignment with what you want! Although on the other hand, about these tasks that I find so stressful, can infuse myself with good feelings about them and not hate them at all. But more importantly, the benefit of thinking about what one REALLY wants is that one will not stay in a situation they do not want for any length of time!!!

So, what is the conclusion of the matter?

I will now go back to my house and think about what I really want, and I will begin to say these things, and think these things, and SEE these things, and I feel certain that these things will come to pass. Off the top of my head, and thinking back over my desires the last few weeks, I would say the things I want include:

1. Getting into that PhD programme (Why? I like the sound of Edinburgh, I want to find out the solution to the problem I have set out to study, it will be nice to live in the literature capital of the world, I want to experience a new culture, I will be near the rest of Europe and will travel around, etc.) I have to think this over – am I concentrating on the means (getting into the programme) or the on experiences I want (travel, etc.)?

2. Becoming a published author: When I read all the books that people have written, I begin to doubt that I have as much imagination or talent, but from now on I will believe that I have a special and unique talent, and I will not be longlisted, nor short listed, but that I will win the Man Booker Prize for new author!

3. What else? I will think of these later. Oh, I want a new job. British Council has invited me for an interview (something I honestly did not expect!) but there is this Norwegian NGO in Sudan that I applied for a job with and it pays a whole load and I think at the moment, I would like to earn a big salary, so I have to think about what I want again.. Incidentally, a friend of mine gave me 'The Secret' to watch because I was telling her that I have always felt that even though I have never gone to a single interview in my life, I have always known that as soon as anyone invited me to an interview then I was going to be irresistible.

Right, I will be off now. Maybe I should start to visualise internet in my house!! All this having to walk up and down is just not on!

Hey, guess what? I think this big change that I foresaw (visualised?) may just be taking place already!! Did I speak too soon? Ah well, I did say it wasn't over till it was over.. Oh, one last thing - the best part of visualising good and success and all that is that one's day to day life is completely free of stress and worry - for instance I just remembered that we shall be hosting my sister's in-laws this Sunday but I am going to start already seeing it as a success!

Oops, I also want to be a loving, committed relationship - how come I always forget to ask for this? I have to work on that I see!!