SIGH...

Last week of work.. Most of the staff are gone, and if I hadn't sweet talked one of our interns to stay, I would be all alone in the office.. Certainly the work I am doing now can wait until next Semester but why put off until next semester what I can do this semester - besides, marking exams is my least favourite task so I don't want to start a new year with unpleasant tasks!!

This morning, I went to a meeting of the University Research and Publications committee, at which I represent my faculty but at one point I had to feign illness and step out because BY GOD It was boring!!! It got me to thinking that what I was reading recently on the lack of companions on my spiritual path is extending to work… The chairman of the meeting is one of those old school types who read every word of the minutes and drones on and on about a point that has clearly been exhaustively discussed; and to make everything worse, we were not provided with even a drink of water despite the fact that the meeting dragged on for hours (!) and that we are all part of this committee on a purely voluntary basis – you’d think some one would think of little comforts like those.. (The director of research is also old school like that – take your comfort from the fact that you are providing a service – what hogwash!!)

Anyway, I think all this is made more difficult by the fact that I have lost ALL energy to continue at this job – and I think this is an important lesson for me in staff motivation – people will usually be willing to go the extra mile if they feel appreciated, valued and challenged. In this whole quagmire of a university, I don’t feel as if even my own immediate supervisor listens to what I say – I mean I tell the man that I don’t feel as though I fit in the program as it stands in the faculty and he says he is sure I can fit – huh? Are YOU listening to me?? Mbu and I shouldn't lose morale because they still need me in the faculty – well, how come I am the only one who can’t tell? I even tend to think his romantic interest in me is clouding his judgement – I should just write my resignation letter – that ought to jog him out of his dream state! (Yes, he is the colleague of the Cape Town fame!)

Ah well, looks like this year's holiday season will be just like 2003 – that was one broody holiday – my family were really worried; they thought I was depressed or something, while actually I was hatching a serious plan to change careers, and this I did successfully within the first six months of 2004. Basically, just like now, I was completely fed up with what I was doing at the time and felt compelled to make a change..

Speaking of change, a few days ago I was reminded of the strong feeling I had at the beginning of the year that by the end of the year my life would be completely different – well, two more weeks before the year ends, it is not too late. Whatever the case, I better get back to grading assignments, atleast that will be THAT task out of the way.