Acculturating

Acculturation - there's a new word for me - I looked it up to see if it meant what I thought it meant - and found out that it didn't.. Apparently acculturating refers to the process by which a group of people assimilates with a larger or more dominant group among whom they live.. I thought that it referred to the process by which one's personal culture develops - but I think I like my definition better!!

Speaking of a personal culture, someone once asked me what 'culture' means - well, I always felt that at the very minimum, culture involves a community and a set of values.. and the way in which every single person in that community relates with it... The trouble that I have with the way I think culture is perceived is that it can be the same for everyone in a community - and be subject to externally definition - like when they say so-and-so is cultured and so-and-so isn't.. Surely we all relate with and respond to our surroundings differently - additionally, what we percieve as 'our community' varies from person to person - for some it is narrower and for others wider..

ANYWAY!!!

I have picked up my process of acculturating again since I have been here - books and movies have always had a great impact on my life (so I guess they form a large part of my "community"), and in the past few years I have continued to read but have almost completely ceased to watch movies - so in Leuven I have been able to catch up on the great movies of the last three years (and a few classics I never got round to watching before as well).. It is SUCH fun!!! I wonder what keeps me from watching movies in UG - is it because I live outside the city? Or is it that I don't like any of the movies that are available??

At any rate, after a few movies, I am left in no doubt where I get my existentialist notions - many of these movies really ask the question - what am I doing here, what SHOULD I be doing? Is this all there is and therefore should I live in the moment? Should I concentrate on pleasing myself (i.e. decide to do things in as far as they support my personal growth or give me personal satisfaction) or should I work for the greater good? Luckily for me, accomplishing the greater good usually also gives me personal satisfaction so I this is not a very big concern for me - yet!!

On the other hand, since the bulk of my efforts towards the greater good involves helping people become better people or become more aware and take more control of their destinies, blah, blah, blah, I find that I should surely be more hesitant in forcing my idea of a better life on them. Who says they are unhappy and will be unhappy if they continue upon their current courses in life? In anycase, what REAL experience have I got to pass on - I am the first to agree that most of my so-called insights into life are gained mostly through mental and theoretical engagement rather than real life experience!!! For that matter, when I try to apply them to my own life I find that they don't always pan out!!

Ok, maybe I judge myself too harshly - concerning the benefits of becoming more aware, I am certainly a good example - I came from such nescience (hahahaha - ok, that means unconsciousness or lack of awareness - had to look up a word coz I couldn't quite find the word to express myself) - yes, from such nescience - honestly I feel that my life before age 27 or something passed by in a complete blur!! And yet ofcourse I lived from day to day, quite happily one might even say.. If anything since my so-called epiphany I have been quite restless and shifty and in constant motion, thinking this one minute and thinking the complete opposite the next, and trying to find expression and trying to authentically connect with people and trying to start a business and endeavouring to keep my mind sharpened and this and that and - choas!!!

BUT!!!

I am also very content, and happy, and satisfied - I live in an incomplete and fuzzy mental and social state but I am very comfortable in this lack of definition - ofcourse this causes me problems because I think most organisms naturally strive for equilibrium, as do I - but I can't seem to grasp it.. although on the other hand I read once that when an organism finds and STAYS in equlibrium, then that organism is dies.. so maybe in disequilibrium (there's another new word) I continue living..

Whatever the case, I wish life was all figured out!! But only sometimes.. :-)